Private Thoughts
by Hypnosbutterfly
Summary: Ok I reposted this story under a new name because I just uh.. did. anyway this is a Cleon/Kel Neal/Lalasa fic *^.^*


Private Thoughts

Private Thoughts  
  


Cleon mounted his horse and nudged him into a trot away from the Castle behind his knight master. As his master paused for a moment to speak to Lord Wyldon, the big redhead turned in the saddle to stare back at the field they had just passed where the senior pages were engaged in combat exercises.   
  
There among the dozen or so boys, he could see Kel, grinning at Neal with a battle glint in her eye as she lunged forward to tackle her friend, only to be thwarted by a sweep to her legs.  
  
Cleon smiled sadly and slipped a hand into his saddle bag. He pulled out a small porcelain Yamani lucky cat that Kel had given him when he was promoted to squire only a few months ago. It was painted green, with vague hints of brown tracery along the face.  
  
Obscurely it reminded him of Keladry. Her short brown hair, cropped short so she could fight better and perhaps to blend in with the boys she spent her days with. Her hazel green eyes, so solemn the night she had given them the most lasting lesson on chivalry he would ever receive, and those eyes could be dangerous one day when they rested on the face of a young man who loved her.   
  
As he loved her.  
  
He couldn't explain it, but it was true, had been true from the moment she had smiled sardonically at him when he ordered her to fetch his things from his room when she herself only had had moments to spare before her own lessons.   
  
And now he was leaving her and wouldn't be back until the final examinations, he would be there no matter what, watching intently as Keladry was tested, and would cheer the loudest when she became a squire.   
  
At the beginning of that first year, his had been among the bets that she would leave within a month, but now that he knew her, knew her determination and her strength of spirit, it was only a matter of waiting for the exams.  
  
At the signal from his knight master, Cleon clicked his tongue forcing his mount into motion once more.   
  
As he exited into the city, he slipped the waving cat back into his pocket and tossed a salute toward is friends. they didn't see him leave, but as he looked once more at Kel he swore that he would tell her how he felt... someday.   
  
Someday when he was a Knight and worthy of such a wonderful woman who had no idea how truly wonderful she was, and that was what he loved about her, she was the most enchanting creature in the palace in his eyes and she only hoped to fit in with the boys. He pitied Joren and his cronies when one day she would grace the Midwinter Festival as not a page but as a Knight in all her glory, no longer self conscious and desperately seeking approval, but confident as the Lioness and just as lovely.  
  
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Keladry of Mindelan groaned slightly as she eased herself out of her weighted harness and stripped off her sweaty uniform. As she pulled on some more comfortable clothing, grey breeches and a loose yellow tunic, she noticed a small sealed note resting on her pillow.   
  
"Another gift from your mysterious benefactor Kel?" asked Lalasa as she picked up her sewing basket and neatened up her work area.  
  
"I don't know." Kel answered as she opened the folded parchment and ran her hazel green eyes over the page.  
  
  
  
Dearest Keladry,  
  
I am sure that you will think that this is hurtful prank but I assure you it is not. I cannot bear to face you alone, so I must profess myself in this letter. I have loved you from the first day I saw you walk out of Lord Wyldon's office, after that first fight against Joren and his fellows, standing proudly for what you believed in. I would write more but I would embarrass myself for sure.   
  
Mithros and Goddess bless,  
  
A true admirer.  
  
  
  
Lalasa covered her mouth with a hand to hide her smile, somehow it seemed inappropriate since Keladry's face was burning bright red. "Well Lady it seems that you have another... er... well-wisher." She sobered as Keladry sat on the bed her hands trembling slightly.  
  
"Lalasa... do you think that it's real? Or is it just a prank?" she asked quietly with an odd hitch of hope in her voice. It was obvious to her maid that Keladry indeed hoped that it was a particular person.  
  
"Well my lady I'm not sure, has one of the boys been treating you differently? Maybe a certain redheaded squire who left not so long ago?" Lalasa grinned as her teasing had the desired effect and Keladry smiled back.  
  
"Well yeah... I suppose it could be him, but I just cant see this from Cleon you know? He is always joking with me, calling me 'my pearl' and 'my dove' but thats all just talk. Isn't it?" Kel stood up and paced the floor a moment then looked out the window chewing on her lip. "I guess I will have to figure it out later, I have to get to the library. Neal and the others are probably waiting."   
  
Kel grabbed her books and walked out of room with a new spring in her step.   
  
Lalasa smiled knowingly her eyes sparkling with the knowledge of the admirer. She turned back to her sewing and began to giggle madly, she loved knowing a secret...  
  
*********************************************************************************  
  
Nealan looked up as Kel walked into the library with a smile on her face. He wondered what had made her so happy, she had been moping around for several days... ever since Cleon had left. Somehow that bothered him. For weeks he had felt awkward around her, every time she looked at him he felt a tingle run up his spine. And now she was positively glowing and he was pretty certain that it didn't have anything to do with him.  
  
Kel sat down and spread her work out on the oak table, greeting Neal, Faleron, and Prince Roald. "How are those math problems coming along Neal?" She asked leaning over to look at his parchment. Her fingers brushed his hand and his whole arm felt warmed.   
  
"I think I'm getting it," He answered softly, "Thanks to you, I never would have understood that last assignment."  
  
"See, I told you it was easy if you just put your mind to it." She sat back down and dipped her brush into the ink bottle in the center of the table.   
  
Later as they were gathering their things to return to their rooms for the night he offered to help her carry her books back to her room since she had more class work than he did.   
  
"Thanks Neal." She said as they stopped in front of her door and she fitted her magicked key into the lock and whispered her name.   
  
"It's nothing. Hello Lalasa." he said as he followed Kel into the room and piled her books onto the desk, being careful not to disturb the bowls of water and seed for the sparrows that frequented Kel's room.  
  
"Hello Nealan." Lalasa said as she stitched one of Kel's shirts. Neither of the pages noticed Lalasa's reddening face as they bid one another goodnight and Nealan walked back out the door.  
  
When Neal reached his rooms he plopped down on his bed and looked up at the ceiling.  
  
"There is no way that this can be happening." he muttered to the empty air. "Mithros, am I in love with Kel?!"  
  
*********************************************************************************  
  
Cleon walked briskly down the hallway of the pages wing and rapped twice on Kel's door.  
  
The locks clicked and Lalasa's face peered out at him and she pulled him inside, "Cleon, what are you doing here? I thought you were headed back north?"   
  
Cleon ran a hand through his fiery hair and sighed, "Well we had a little skirmish with some bandits," he paused slightly and rolled up his sleeve to show the young woman a white bandage wrapping his arm from elbow to wrist.   
  
Lalasa hissed in sympathy as he continued. "I got off easy though, my knight master broke his arm in two places."  
  
Cleon paused again and looked over at Keladry's bed where Lalasa had laid out a pale blue dress for her to wear to dinner later that evening.   
  
"Did you give her my letter?" he asked quietly chewing slightly on his bottom lip, a habit he had picked up from Kel. His face was quickly reddening to a shade that matched his hair.  
  
"Yes I gave it to her a week after you left like you asked me to. I think she knows it was you though… she was glad I think." Lalasa frowned. "I like knowing secrets but I don't like keeping one from my mistress, especially when it has been driving her so mad lately speculating on whether it is true or not. I am not sure I can keep it any longer so you had better tell my lady before I do."   
  
Cleon blanched at the determined look on the maid's face. Normally Lalasa was rather timid but since Kel had taught her to fight she had gained a new confidence about speaking her mind about these sort of things. He didn't doubt her for a moment.   
  
"Don't worry I plan to tell her tomorrow… Gods I hope she doesn't laugh at me." Cleon reached into his pocket and pulled out a small tissue wrapped box. "Give this to her when she comes back from the study group tonight. Please? I swear I am going to resolve all of this tomorrow."  
  
Lalasa took the package and slipped it into her sewing basket beneath the squares of cloth. "Alright, you had better get on now, the pages will be coming back from their afternoon lessons soon.  
  
"Thanks Lalasa, you have no idea what you help means to me." As the big squire started out the door he turned back a moment. "And Lalasa?"  
  
"Yes?" she asked.  
  
"Good luck with Neal." He winked and shut the door behind him.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Lalasa grinned as Kel entered the room sat on the bed and pulled her boots off with a groan.   
"Something came for you today my lady." the maid said and pulled out the small box.   
  
Kel smiled slightly and took it with her into the anteroom where she stripped and got into the waiting tub of hot water. She scrubbed quickly and jumped out, dried off and pulled on her dinner gown before opening the gift.   
  
Slowly she pulled back the layers of tissue thin paper and opened the plain brown box. Her eyes lit up as she pulled out a delicate Yamani keepsake box carved from sandlewood. On the top a small waving cat was painted in blue and white with jade green eyes.   
  
"Oh how pretty." Kel opened the box and found a note inside.   
  
Keladry,   
Come to the library in the pages wing tonight after dinner. Please come alone.  
Love  
  
Keladry let out a shaky breath and walked out into the main room with a huge grin on her face. Setting the box on the dresser beside her collection of Yamani Lucky cats.  
  
"Lalasa, who gave you this?" Kel asked and Lalasa shrugged sheepishly.  
  
" I can't say my lady, I promised not to tell." Lalasa looked down at the floor as Kel ran from the room as the dinner bell rang...  
  
*********************************************************************************  
  
Owen of Jesslaw sat in a corner of the library doing a report on hurrokks as punishment work. He looked up as the door opened and a tall young man in a squire's uniform walked in and paced nervously a few times before settling down at a round table.  
  
Owen peered around the large bookcase and realized that the squire was Cleon. 'Didn't Cleon leave with his master a few weeks ago?' Owen thought but his musings were cut short as another figure entered the room and walked over to where Cleon was sitting. He could tell from the way the page walked that it was Kel.  
  
At first he couldnt hear what they were saying and only watched a moment as Kel sat down beside him. The room was deathly silent so they were obviously not saying anything.   
  
Owen's curiousity got the better of him finally and he got down on the floor and crawled on his belly over to where he could both see and hear them both, but not be seen himself.  
  
It was Kel who spoke first and broke the silence. "Lalasa said you came by this afternoon and wanted me to meet you here. What are you doing here? Um, I said that wrong I sounded rude I'm sorry. What I meant was when did you get back?" Kel's face was crimson from embarrasment.  
  
"Well a few days ago we were ambushed by bandits, Inness broke his arm in two places and he'll be laid up for awhile so we came back here as soon as everything was cleared up, I just got here last night." Cleon's face was red as well but Owen was sure that it wasn't embarrassment.   
  
Cleon figeted in his seat, something he never did, and finally cleared his throat. "Um, Kel there is something I really wanted to tell you about. I dont know how to say this, and I have been meaning to say it for awhile, and... and now I'm rambling.   
  
Owen's eyes widened as Cleon reached over and grasped one of Kel's hands, engulfing it in both of his. 'There he goes treating her like a girl again...' he thought and wriggled a bit to get a better view. Kel had turned her face down staring at her lap.  
  
"Kel," Cleon started softly, "I don't know how to say this. I'm not eloquent like Neal or the Prince. So I just... I..." Cleon trailed off and lifted a hand to touch Kel's chin and lift her face to meet her eyes. Slowly he pulled her towards him and their lips met in a soft kiss. Kel kissed back hesitently and reached up her free hand to touch Cleon's cheek.   
  
After a few moments they broke away Kel smiling shyly and Cleon grinning.   
  
"It was you wasn't it Cleon? The one who sent the letter?" Kel asked, brushing a lock of hair from her eyes. He nodded slightly, smiling. "I had hoped it was you."   
  
They both jumped as the bell rang for the pages to return to their rooms.   
  
Owen swore silently, 'It was just getting good.'   
  
Cleon stood and walked with Keladry out of the room, and Owen waited for a few minutes before sneaking out of the library and down to his own room.  
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Lord Wyldon of Cavall straightened the collar of his shirt and looked around the dining hall and studied the pages under his care. Spring fever seemed to have come early this year at a rather inopportune time, as the big examinations were only a month away.  
  
Two years ago he would have fumed at seeing the new involvements between Page Keladry and Squire Cleon, he probably would have put a stop to it immediately but now… He had to admit to some extent that he had been a bit wrong about the girl.   
  
True, she would never be as physically strong as most of the boys, but she made up for that in speed and style. One thing he had to say about Keladry, her heart was in the right place. She wasn't in this for the glory of it, or for the pride at being a Knight of the Realm, Keladry of Mindelan truly cared about everyone she came in contact with from noble to servant, everyone was the same in her eyes. That is what had earned her his respect, though grudgingly.  
  
Moving on down the tables he saw Nealan of Queenscove holding up a book of poetry and reciting it to his friends with a mocking smile on his lips, while the younger boy, Owen of Jesslaw, wedged himself between Kel and Cleon with a grin.   
  
Lord Wyldon lifted his glass of juice and took a sip, his eyes traveling over the rest of the group. He knew that most of these pages and squires would leave here with a less than affectionate opinion of their training master, but one day they would all understand that everything he taught them was vitally important if they wanted to live through their first five years.  
  
The bell rang then, signaling the end of the evening meal. Wyldon watched as the pages filed out returning to their rooms in small groups to study for the grueling upcoming tests. The training master allowed himself a small smile and followed them out of the room and returned to his chambers.  
  
No matter what anyone said, he was one among those that most hoped Keladry passed her final exams.  
  
********************************************************************************  
  
Lalasa stood in the anteroom of Kel's chambers, folding the last of her own dresses in her trunk and looking around to be sure that she had everything. Her mistress was moving into the Squires wing, and Lalasa was moving with her.  
  
She started slightly as the door to the hallway was flung open and a male voice rang out.  
  
"Kel? Lalasa? Anybody here?" Neal called, as though it wasn't obvious that Kel wasn't home.   
  
"I'm in here Neal. What's all this ruckus about now?" Lalasa asked as she came into the main room, dragging her trunk behind her, "Since you seem to have so much energy, maybe you can show me where Kel's rooms are and help me carry this trunk."  
  
Neal's grin widened. "That is what I came to tell you, Kel's room is just beside mine."   
  
Lalasa grinned back, "Goddess bless, think of the trouble you could get into."  
  
Unexpectedly Neal's smile faded. "Um… do you mind that our rooms are so close."  
  
Lalasa's face flushed slightly. So he noticed. she thought wryly.   
  
"I guess I'm not all that good at hiding things hm?" Lalasa looked down, her face burning bright red.   
  
Neal took a few steps forward and reached for her hand, dropping a courtly kiss on her smooth skin. "I feel the same way you know? I like you a lot. I seem to fall in love an awful lot, but it always seems to be with someone I don't know. I have never had a relationship, only crushes." He trailed off slightly and she smiled, looking up at the tall squire.   
  
Neal bent and kissed her lips.   
  
An exaggerated sigh from the doorway broke them apart a few moments later. "Ah, blossoming love." Cleon stood in the doorway with one arm slung over Kel's shoulders. He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.   
  
Neal placed both hands on Lalasa's shoulders and looked at her seriously. "Please pardon me madam." Releasing Lalasa, Neal bolted for the doorway after Cleon who was running for all he was worth, still laughing his head off.   
  
Kel and Lalasa laughed and hefted the maid's trunk.   
  
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thanks to everyone who has read this and given me encouragement namely Kel and Jaelawyn Noble :o) smilies!   
  
  
hehe please place yer comments in the lil box down there!


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